The Blue River

Listen: Dana Masters—Medley: At Last/Blue Skies

I’m drawn to rivers, especially mountain rivers. This morning (August 2021) I was sitting by the Blue River north of Silverthorne, Colorado. I was journaling, reading, reflecting, and meditating by the river. Last week I was doing the same thing by the Missouri River. The Blue River flows out of Dillon Reservoir and eventually joins the Colorado River near Kremmling, Colorado. It’s a crystal clear mountain river and designated a Gold Medal trout stream by the state of Colorado.

 While I was sitting by the river, my thoughts were streaming. Same old racing mind with which I have lived my whole life. Vascilating thoughts—hope, fear, dreams, anxiety, strategic plans, to-do lists. Then I focus on the stream and the water flowing past me. My thoughts are much like the river—flowing through me. I turn my thoughts toward God and the beauty of this mountain vista. I focus on the smell of the pine trees, the cool morning breeze, and the little chipmunk scurrying around me.

 I read a few lines from a little book of meditations by Richard Rohr entitled Just This. The section I happen to read is “thoughts versus awareness.” Richard writes: “In The Interior Castle, St. Teresa of Avila (1515-1582) says, ‘I came to realize by experience that thinking is not the same thing as mindfulness [what I call awareness]…. I had not been able to understand why, if the mind is one of the faculties of the soul, it is sometimes so restless. Thoughts fly around so fast that only God can anchor them.’” I’m strangely comforted by the idea that St. Teresa had a similar experience with her thoughts as I have with mine.

 Then I stumble across another meditation from Richard Rohr in a section called “neither clinging nor opposing.” Richard gives this advice: “Listen honestly to yourself. Listen to whatever thought or feeling arises. Listen long enough to ask, ‘Why am I thinking this?’” This is something I have been practicing every day for a couple of years—listening to my thoughts and feelings with open curiosity—instead of judging and suppressing them. What do I need to learn from them? Richard continues: “If you can allow your thoughts and feelings to pass through you, neither clinging to them nor opposing them—and without ever expecting perfect success—I promise that you will come to a deeper, wider, and wiser place.”

 So I let the blues flow through me. All the grief and losses I have experienced the last couple of years don’t have to pool up and drown me. They can flow through me, “neither clinging to them nor opposing them.” I can listen, learn, and grow. I can dream new dreams and experience the flow of new life—a flow that cleanses and heals and refreshes. I think I’ll immerse myself in this crystal clear blue steam of life.

Shalom

©realfredherron, 2021