Hospitality to Strangers
Listen: “Crowded Table” by The Highwomen
In 2008 I took my first trip to the Middle East to hang out with Arab Muslims. One of my close friends, Carl Medearis, had lived in Beirut, Lebanon for thirteen years building community and doing humanitarian work with Muslims. I planned my first trip with Carl in 2001 and 9/11 canceled that trip. I planned my second trip in 2005/6 and it was canceled due to the lingering effects of the Second Intifada. I finally made the trip in 2008, traveling to places like Beirut, Lebanon, Damascus, Syria, Amman, Jordan, the West Bank, Jerusalem, and Israel.
Before I left on the trip, I had many people trying to talk me out of it. Many Americans were still on edge concerning Muslims seven years after 9/11. I had many people say: “Why would you risk your life to go hang out with the enemy? The Muslims are our enemy.” My immediate thought was: “Jesus taught us to love our enemies and show hospitality to people who are considered strangers, immigrants, refugees, marginalized, prisoners, outcasts, and outsiders.” Hospitality is showing kindness and generosity to people who are not only our friends, but also to people who are different—The Other. Maybe even The Enemy.
On my 2008 trip to the Middle East, the thing that stood out to me the most was the hospitality I received from Arab Muslims. It was off the charts. My mom is from Savannah, Georgia and has always practiced southern hospitality, but this was off the hook. I was invited into people’s homes for food, conversation, and entertainment and I was always invited back. The Arab Muslim door of hospitality was opened wide for a Midwest Christian Pastor.
We live in a political and social environment which bombards us with messages aimed to stir up anger and hatred toward The Other. Algorithms in social media are actually designed to fill our feeds with content that stokes animosity toward The Enemy. We are encouraged to draw lines and hate someone who is from a different culture, a different race, a different religion, or a different political persuasion.
I think we need a radical commitment to hospitality if we are going to make the world a more loving place to live. We need to actually sit down at the dinner table with people who are different, ask some great questions, listen deeply to their stories, and hear the things that unite us as human beings. If we lead with vulnerability concerning our hurts, hang ups, and habits, then we will find out that we are not that different. Everyone has experienced hurts, fears, loss, sadness, grief, and trauma, as well as joys, loves, hopes, and dreams.
One of the highest values of the Bedouin tribes of the Arab Middle East is hospitality. In the harsh desert environment, survival often times depends on hospitality. Truth be known, the survival of our planet and the human race depends upon the gift of hospitality—an extravagant kindness and generosity which we show to the planet, humans, and all creatures.
The father of Judaism, Islam, and Christianity is Abraham, who was a nomadic traveler. Abraham depended on the hospitality of strangers when he was called to leave his home in Ur of the Chaldeans and travel to a land he had never seen. The descendants of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob became slaves in Egypt and after hundreds of years they escaped slavery and sojourned as nomads through the wilderness as they journeyed back to the land of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, once again depending on the hospitality of strangers. Because of this, hospitality towards nomads, strangers, immigrants, refugees, and outsiders is commanded in the Torah (Deuteronomy 10:19). Jesus picked up on this and emphasized hospitality for the widow, the orphan, the naked, the prisoner, the hungry, and the stranger (Matthew 25:35-36).
In AA halls around the world, alcoholics in recovery are called upon to reach out to others who are struggling with the disease of addiction. There are over 100,000 AA groups around the world, not counting the thousands of twelve step groups dealing with drugs (NA), eating (OA), gambling (GA), sex addiction (SA), and a host of others. AA adopted a responsibility statement in 1965, which I interpret as the practice of hospitality: “I am responsible—when anyone, anywhere reaches out for help, I want the hand of AA always to be there, and for that: I am responsible.”
Jesus practiced table meals with people who were considered unclean. In a day and age when religious leaders avoided eating with certain people to avoid contamination, Jesus had the idea that love, grace, and hospitality around the fellowship of a meal (quality time) could be the healing balm that humanity needs. Love, grace, and hospitality have a cleansing, healing effect.
As I write this blog on January 15, I am reminded of the civil rights struggle for justice for which Martin Luther King, Jr. gave his life. One of my favorite MLK quotes as he advocated for love in the face of brutality, racism, and hatred: “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”
The hospitality challenge for this New Year: Sit down with people over coffee or a meal who are different from you. People who are not in your circle of friends and acquaintances. People with whom you may not even be comfortable. Ask some great questions and practice some listening skill. Let love begin to grow. Make the world a more loving place.
I think the country supergroup, the Highwoman, made up of Brandi Carlile, Natalie Hemby, Amanda Shires, and Maren Morris got it right in their hit song “Crowded Table:”
The door is always open
Your picture’s on my wall
Everyone’s a little broken
And everyone belongs
Yeah, everyone belongs
I want a house with a crowded table
And a place by the fire for everyone
Let us take on the world while we’re young and able
And bring us back together when the day is done
Shalom
@realfredherron, 2023
