Recovery as a Lifestyle
Listen: “Recovery” by James Arthur
Everybody needs recovery from something at different times in life. You may need physical recovery from an injury or illness. You may need relational recovery from a divorce or broken relationship. You may need emotional recovery from an addiction or broken dream. Recovery does not have to be complicated, but you do have to be willing to do some work. Recovery is always a spiritual process.
I have been in the recovery community for over two years, and I have reflected on how the principles of the twelve step recovery process apply to everyone who needs recovery from something—which, dare I say, is most of humanity at one time or another.
The Twelve Steps can be summarized in various ways. Each step corresponds to a virtue that needs to be embraced and developed. These steps and virtues can be applied to any situation in life, particularly situations which involve recovery. Here’s a brief summary of key principles contained in the Twelve Steps.
Surrender: Steps 1-3. The first three steps involve admitting our powerlessness over our addiction or a given situation in life. We come to realize that our life has become unmanageable, and we need a power greater than ourselves to come to our aid. These first three steps involve brutal honesty with ourselves about our situation and surrendering to God or a high power of our understanding. Many people find themselves on their knees in prayer, crying out for grace and mercy.
Personal inventory: Steps 4-7. These steps involve courage, integrity, and humility. We do a fearless and thorough moral inventory of our own character. All of us are a mixture of character assets and defects. It’s important not to forget our character strengths, but these steps are really about getting honest with our character defects. It’s always important to do this work with a sponsor, a close friend, a therapist, or a pastor. We spend time reflecting on our own defects of character, sharing these defects with another human being (confession), and then ask God to remove these defects of character. It’s a time for personal cleansing and healing.
Making amends: Steps 8-9. In steps eight and nine, we make a list of the people we have harmed and become willing to make amends to these people. This is where we take responsibility for the harm we have done to others. Certainly, we have all been harmed by other people, but we can only deal with our own resentments and work on forgiveness. Sometimes the hurts we have experienced are deep and need work in therapy. But it’s important to remember that we can’t get people to make amends with us. These two steps focus on what we can control—ourselves. It’s not time to blame other people for our behavior or make excuses. We simply take care of “our side of the street.” Again, it takes great humility and love to focuses on our own issues and take responsibility for the harm we have caused other people. These steps are most challenging and most freeing.
Spiritual maintenance: Steps 10-12. The last three steps involve a lifestyle of spiritual health and vitality. Without a spiritual program, it seems like we quickly devolve back to the worst version of ourselves. Step Ten focuses on keeping a short account. If we hurt someone today, then take care of it today. Make amends quickly. Don’t pile up a bunch or hurts and emotional baggage. Keep a clean heart. Step Eleven focuses on daily habits of prayer and meditation, and Step Twelve focuses on service to and with other people who are struggling with the same issues with which we struggled. We give away our sobriety/healing to others in order to keep it. Broken people are the best sources of healing for broken people. We all have the capacity to become “wounded healers,” to borrow a phrase from a wonderful book by Henri Nouwen, The Wounded Healer.
This is a simple summary from my perspective. I have thought about how profound this simple program can be. It can literally rescue lives from the brink of death and destruction and restore them to a path of joy and service. It’s beautiful to see lives transformed through a spiritual program rooted in community, love, honesty, humility, and forgiveness. Individuals, families, faith communities, businesses, and organizations of all types would do well to practice these principles in all their affairs.
Shalom
©realfredherron, 2021
