Learning to See
Listen: “Beautiful” by Christina Aguilera
Have you ever wondered why people don’t see things the way you see them? Have you ever wanted someone to see the world through your eyes? Have you ever wanted to see the world through someone else’s eyes? Have you ever tried to explain something to someone and they just don’t get it? Have you ever lost confidence in the way you see the world?
Everyone sees differently. Brothers and sisters growing up with the same parents can see the world differently based on their birth order, personality, love language, talents, passions, hurts, sexual orientation, and inconsistencies in parental nurturing. Siblings growing up with the same parents, same economic status, same race, same language, same country, same politics, same neighborhood, same schools, same opportunities, and same obstacles, can still see and interpret life experiences differently.
I grew up in a white, American, Protestant/Catholic, middle class, midwest, suburban neighborhood in Kansas City, Missouri. My family and my neighborhood shaped the early development of how I saw the world—my worldview (a particular set of cultural, philosophical, political, and religious beliefs concerning the world). As I think back, several factors helped me understand that not everyone had the same worldview as me: (1) some of my childhood friends had vastly different experiences with their parental environment ranging from nurturing to abusive; (2) my university experience was southern, white, Protestant, but I was exposed to world history, philosophy, culture, economics, politics, science, and religion through a Bachelor of Arts degree. I also interacted with students from around the world; (3) I started traveling around the world doing missions and humanitarian work; and (4) I developed some deep friendships with people from very diverse backgrounds such as African Americans, Latinos, Asians, Europeans, Arab Muslims, Israelis, Canadians, and Ethiopians.
When I travel, I typically spend time with the people who invite me. This is a totally different experience than traveling to a place as a tourist. When you become friends with the people who live in a particular location, you talk about their way of life, their family, their work, and their worldview. I have stayed or visited in the homes of people who live in Canada, Mexico, Ecuador, England, Germany, Switzerland, Italy, Ethiopia, Lebanon, Syria, Jordan, Palestine, Israel, and United Arab Emirates. These experiences and conversations help you see the world through the eyes of other people and help expose your own biases. I truly believe that seeing the world through the eyes of other people, and learning to recognize our own biases, can help us become more loving people.
I was recently listening to a podcast hosted by Brian McLaren and Richard Rohr entitled, “Learning How to See” (cac.org/podcast/learning-how-to-see), in which Brian discusses thirteen biases which we all experience. All humans have unconscious, internal biases which shape our worldview. These biases can prevent us from seeing reality as it is or blind us to a particular aspect of reality. I would encourage you to listen to the podcast that Brian and Richard hosted, or read Brian’s ebook “Why Don’t They Get It?” (brianmclaren.net). I would encourage you to read through the thirteen biases and begin to reflect on how biases influence you. There is a large volume of brain research which supports how the brain is wired for biases.
Confirmation bias. We judge new ideas based on the ease with which they fit with our old ideas.
Complexity bias. Our brains prefer a simple falsehood to a complex truth.
Community bias. It’s almost impossible to see what our community doesn’t, can’t, or won’t see.
Complementarity bias. If you are hostile to my ideas, I’ll be hostile to yours. If you are curious and respectful toward my ideas, I’ll respond in kind.
Competency bias. We don’t know how much (or little) we know, because we don’t know how much (or little) others know.
Consciousness bias. Some things simply can’t be seen from where I am right now. Personal growth and development open up new ways to see.
Complacency bias. I prefer not to have my comfort disturbed.
Conservative/Liberal bias. I lean toward nurturing fairness and kindness, or towards strictly enforcing purity, loyalty, liberty, and authority, as an expression of my political identity.
Confidence bias. I am attracted to confidence, even if it is false. I often prefer the bold lie to the hesitant truth.
Catastrophe bias. I remember dramatic catastrophes but don’t notice gradual decline (or improvement).
Contact bias. When I don’t have intense or sustained personal contact with “the other,” my prejudices and false assumptions go unchallenged.
Cash bias. It’s hard for me to see something when my way of making a living requires me not to see it.
Conspiracy bias. Under stress or shame, our brains are attracted to stories that relieve us, exonerate us, or portray us as innocent victims of malicious conspirators.
I believe the process of spiritual growth helps us see ourselves, others, and the world with greater clarity and love. Seeing with greater love is the ultimate goal. Jesus made an interesting observation about seeing in the Sermon on the Mount: “Your eye is a lamp that provides light for your body. When your eye is good, your whole body is filled with light. But when your eye is bad, your whole body is filled with darkness. And when the light you think you have is actually darkness, how deep that darkness is! (Matthew 6:22-23; NLT).
Shalom
©realfredherron, 2022
