Embodied Spirituality

Listen: “Chandelier” by Sia

Tristan, the protagonist of the story “Legends of the Fall,” is said to have had “a good death.” Is there a good way to die and a bad way to die? Physically speaking, everybody has their opinion; but what about spiritually? All of the great faith traditions speak of the reality of an internal battle within us—a struggle between our best self and our false self, or “shadow boxing,” as some would call it. There is a part of our self, our ego, that is a “false self”—a persona built on a shaky foundation that needs to die or be transformed. There is also a “true self” that needs to emerge. The real you. (I opened with this paragraph in an earlier blog entitled, “False Self, True Self—A Good Death,” November 2, 2020, spiritualityadventures.com.)

Unfortunately, many of us adopted a form of disembodied spirituality, an approach which does not lead to “a good death.” This approach comes to us in large part from the Greek philosophical tradition. Most Greek philosophers viewed emotions (pathos), especially negative emotions, as something to be feared and conquered. For the Greeks, it was believed that God could not experience emotions and that emotions were dangerous for humans. Emotions, especially negative emotions, were incompatible with the dignity of the divine; likewise, humans should attempt to live a rational life over against an emotional life. Emotions pull us downward into the realm of evil spirits. Homer’s heroes interpreted negative emotions as a daemon who uses the human mind and body as its instrument. Xenocrates, a Stoic philosopher, taught that every emotion, especially sudden anger, is aroused by the evil spirits dwelling in the soul. (For an excellent discussion of this topic, see Abraham J. Heschel, The Prophets, “The Philosophy of Pathos,” pp. 318-343.)

Emotions are experienced and stored in the body. All of our emotions, from joy to sadness, reside within our physical bodies. Learning to live with our emotions, listen to our emotions, experience all of our emotions, receive wisdom from our emotions, and heal from emotional pain, is the path of embodied spirituality.

If you grew up in the Christian tradition, you are aware of the Apostle Paul’s writings. He talks about dying to the “self” quite often. One of his classic discussions on this topic is Galatians 5. Paul writes, “The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions” (Gal. 5:17). Then he describes the fruit of the sinful nature: “When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these” (Gal. 5:19-21). Notice that the fruits of the sinful nature (or false self) are mostly a list of behaviors. According to Paul, these behaviors are symptomatic of the false self (sinful nature). They are not a list of core emotions (with the exception of anger, but the focus is on the outburst not the anger itself).

I think this is an important distinction that could lead to a good death or bad death of the false self. For decades I tried to “die to self” by suppressing, subduing, ignoring, or battling my negative emotions. I was thinking this was the way to “die” to bad behaviors. However, the opposite is true. One thing we have learned from psychologists like Hilary Jacobs Hendel: Suppressing negative emotions leads to a host of other issues like depression, anxiety, guilt, and shame. (See Hilary Jacobs Hendel, It’s Not Always Depression.)

Suppression is a form of disembodied spirituality, which does not result in emotional health or healing. This is not a good death spiritually or emotionally. Suppressing, ignoring, or fighting negative emotions does not work in the long run, and it causes a multitude of other problems. Numbing is another form of disembodied spirituality. People try to numb negative emotions while enhancing pleasurable emotions through substances. The problem is—you can’t selectively numb emotions with substances. A good death to the false self sets us free; it integrates and transforms us. A bad death just numbs us out and makes us more ill.

Paul in Galatians describes the struggle between the false self and the true self (something with which we intuitively identify), expounds on a list of symptomatic behaviors, and points to our resurrected true self as our hope. He does not provide a model for dealing with negative emotions. It’s possible that he was unduly influenced by the Stoics, or that he was focused on theology more than emotional healing.

For those who grew up in the Judeo/Christian traditions, the Psalms of lamentation are the best place in Scripture to learn how to deal with negative emotions (an approach which integrates well with modern psychology). There are about forty-two Psalms of lament in the Hebrew Bible (Old Testament). If you read through these Psalms you will see a pattern: invocation, complaint, request, hope, and praise. The complaints express every negative emotion in the human repertoire. (Hendel identifies core emotions as fear, anger, grief, excitement, disgust, and sexual excitement. The famous “Feeling Wheel” developed by Dr. Gloria Wilcox identifies core emotions as sad, mad, scared, peaceful, powerful, and joyful. Core emotions are hardwired in our brain and body. Hendel identifies inhibitory emotions as shame, guilt, and anxiety.) This pattern of expression of negative emotions is a healthy pattern. We need to learn to listen to our negative emotions and express them. We might share them with God, with our journal, with a friend or partner, with a support group, or with a therapist.

Mindfulness meditation is another resource for the practice of embodied spirituality. Through mindfulness meditation, I have learned to listen to my emotions with openness, curiosity, and self-compassion. It is important to hear and to understand our negative emotions. It’s also incredibly important to end up in a place of hope and gratitude as we express our negative emotions. That can take effort—even a daily gratitude list when we don’t feel grateful.

The Psalms of lament give us a healthy model for emotional expression. At times these psalms are messy and raw and vicious. They express doubt and anger towards God and others. They question God and challenge God. I have talked to many people who don’t like these psalms—they are too raw. But expressing emotions in appropriate contexts is so important for emotional, spiritual, and relational health. The individual and communal Psalms of lament make up almost a third of the book of Psalms. Jesus quoted from Psalm 22 on the cross. Even Jesus felt utterly abandoned by God and expressed it.

Healing comes by releasing negative emotions in a healthy way. Hendel gives a simple four step process which can be applied throughout the day: (1) pause and breath; (2) tune in and listen to your body; (3) Identify underlying core emotions and name each one; and (4) think through best actions. This is the work of embodied spirituality—processing emotions in a deep way through therapy, journaling, prayer, and meditation.

Our emotions will teach us important truths about ourselves. Even our negative emotions, if processed well, can lead us to positive change at work, at home, and at play. They have a purpose. I am learning how to live an embodied spirituality—but quite frankly—there are times in which I’d rather just beat up my negative emotions by suppressing, subduing, or conquering them. Sharing them makes me feel weak, but I’m telling myself that’s not a bad thing—feeling weak. It’s the beginning of “a good death.”

Shalom

©realfredherron, 2022