A Daily Reprieve
Listen: “Breaking the Habit” by Linkin Park
Most everybody I know has struggled with difficult emotions like fear, anxiety, anger, guilt, and shame, or an addiction of some kind. Substance addictions could include alcohol, abuse of prescription drugs, street drugs, and food issues like overeating, bingeing, and purging. Behavioral addictions could include compulsive cleaning, gambling, shopping, working, exercising, caregiving, gossiping, hoarding, sexual activity, internet gaming, and social media use. All addictions are behavioral even if a substance is involved and seek to active a dopaminergic surge for the primitive brain.
I tend to think of an addiction as a pattern of behavior in which we engage to comfort ourselves in order to avoid stress, pain, or emotional discomfort. The behavior becomes repetitive, and winds up continuing the behavior to deal with the discomfort of withdrawal from the prior attempt at euphoria. Its long term consequences can result in emotional, relational, financial, or physical damage. We can end up hurting ourselves and others. Not all habits for dealing with stress and discomfort are destructive (healthy habits are vital), but addictions are always destructive in the long run.
The addictive behaviors are typically not the problem, but often the symptom result of a long standing deeper emotional issue. This is why emotions like fear, anxiety, anger, guilt, and shame need to be processed. Most of the substances and behaviors I have just mentioned, with a few exceptions, can be used and practiced in a healthy way. In the case of alcohol and drugs, the substance itself can become a major part of the problem. However, once the physical addiction is broken, the deeper emotional issues must be processed and healed.
This is why true recovery is a spiritual journey. The addictive behavior and the underlying emotions take control, occupy our mind, defend their territory, create reasons for their existence, and demand ultimate allegiance. We become a slave to the addiction and the underlying emotions, and we will defend them to our own detriment which can sometimes include death.
The struggle for emotional health and freedom is a spiritual process. Spirituality is connection to self, others, and something greater than us that is loving and caring. Our addictions are “cunning, baffling, and powerful” (Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 58). This is why AA and other Twelve Step programs emphasize the spiritual nature of recovery. The Big Book of AA says: “What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God’s will into all of our activities. ‘How can I best serve Thee—Thy will (not mine) be done.’ These are thoughts which must go with us constantly” (Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 85).
Daily surrender to your higher power is an important spiritual practice. Some people start each day with “please.” “Please help me stay sober and do your will this day.” Many of these same people end each day with gratitude. Thanking God for the blessings of the day however small, simple, or ordinary the blessing might be. Gratitude is a spiritual practice.
We need daily spiritual practices to maintain a healthy spiritual condition. Practices like prayer, meditation, service, support groups, spiritual reading, journaling, daily reflections, gratitude list, and small groups function like daily nourishment for our soul. We need daily food for our spiritual hunger.
I have found that the more powerful the addiction, the more important it is to build an abundance of spiritual practices into our daily routines. One of the spiritual practices which is especially important for defeating the toughest addictions and emotional struggles is the practice of rigorous honesty with others. Call it confession or sharing with a trusted friend, sponsor, or therapist. Some of the most powerful addictions only begin to lose their power when we get honest and share our struggles with another person. It’s especially powerful when we share with someone who has struggled with the same issue and found a way out. For example, the brilliance of the AA Twelve Step program is alcoholics talking to alcoholics and sharing their experience, strength, and hope.
In essence, we build community and vulnerability around our shared addictions and struggles. This has a magical power to heal our deepest wounds. We find a daily reprieve in a refreshing stream of grace-based community.
Shalom
©realfredherron, 2021
