Sweet Surrender

Listen: “Sweet Surrender” by John Denver

I admit it. I am a John Denver fan. In fact, he was my favorite singer/songwriter in my early teens. I graduated from John Denver to progressive rock like Yes, ELP, Jethro Tull, and Pink Floyd, but I never lost my love for John Denver. When I am driving out to Colorado and see the mountains first appear from I-70, I will usually play “Rocky Mountain High” and an assortment of other John Denver tunes (and some Johnny Cash). I have always appreciated the way John Denver captured a love for nature in his music. It’s one of his most prominent musical themes. His song “Sweet Surrender” came to mind as I was pondering the spiritual concept of “surrender.”

Over the last couple of years, I have been in meetings where people were talking about their “Higher Power.” In these recovery meetings, people come from a variety of backgrounds—atheists, agnostics, Hindus, Buddhists, Native American spirituality, Jews, Muslims, Christians—but all of them have grappled with the concept of a “Higher Power.” Belief in a Higher Power doesn’t come easy for everyone, but people in recovery have come to admit that they are powerless over a particular substance or destructive behavior and that their lives have become unmanageable. In other words, all of their efforts to manage and control their addiction have failed.

This admission leads people in recovery to wrestle with step two and three in the Twelve Step program: (2) Came to believe a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity; (3) Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. For some people, this is fraught with difficulty. It’s really about surrendering our lives to something we can’t see. It’s about giving up control. Most people don’t want to admit that they are defeated, that they have failed to manage their lives successfully. Most people come reluctantly, “kicking and screaming” so to speak. Nobody shows up at a recovery meeting when things are going great.

It’s interesting to hear how people from various backgrounds describe their Higher Power. Some choose the recovery group itself—a community of people who are loving and caring. Some people choose the spiritual aspects of nature—the wonder, beauty, grace, and magic of planet earth and the Universe. Some people choose a universal life-force—an energy that connects everything. Some people choose God from one of the three monotheistic traditions—Islam, Judaism, or Christianity. (Many Christian Twelve Step groups choose Jesus as their Higher Power.)

Despite these differing conceptions of a Higher Power, every person must decide to surrender. Give up. Loose control. It can be challenging for just about anyone. I can think of biblical stories where individuals struggled with God—Jacob wrestling with God, Moses at the burning bush, Jonah in the belly of the whale, Jesus praying in the garden, Paul knocked off his horse. Even the heroes of faith struggled with surrender.

Let’s face it. Surrender doesn’t come easy. As Richard Rohr has stated: “Letting go is not in anybody’s program for happiness, and yet all mature spirituality, in one sense or another, is about letting go and unlearning” (Breathing Under Water by Richard Rohr, p. 6). Even when our present situation is not working, we would rather try our own way with a slightly different twist. We just might make it work. “We would rather be ruined than change. We would rather die in our dread than climb the cross of the present and let our illusions die” (W.H. Auden, “Apropos of Many Things”).

I have found that new situations in life and new seasons in life necessitate fresh surrender. Surrender is certainly a choice, but it’s a choice that can slip and fade over time. Surrender needs to be practiced, renewed, and refreshed with each season and circumstance of life. Yesterday’s surrender does not constitute a slam dunk for tomorrow. We can so easily return to our own devices, vices, and demise.

And yet, there is a relief that comes with surrender. A certain release of internal pressure, emotional pain, and anxiety that comes when we tap out and admit defeat. I’m done. I give up. I surrender. “If you are out there God, I surrender all.” In the words of a classic Christian hymn, “All to Jesus I surrender, make me Savior wholly thine. May Thy Holy Spirit fill me. May I know Thy power divine. I surrender all.”

 And for those who love nature and adventure, there is a sweet surrender for which we all yearn. It’s a doorway to freedom. 

Lost and alone on some forgotten highway

Traveled by many remembered by few

Lookin’ for something that I can believe in

Lookin’ for something that I’d like to do with my life

There’s nothin’ behind me and nothin’ that ties me to

Something that might have been true yesterday

Tomorrow is open, right now it seems to be more that enough

To just be here today, and I don’t know

What the future is holdin’ in store

I don’t know where I’m goin’ I’m not sure where I’ve been

There’s a spirit that guides me, a light that shines for me

My life is worth the livin’ I don’t need to see the end

Sweet, sweet surrender, live, live without care

Like a fish in the water, like a bird in the air

Shalom

©realfredherron, 2021