Post Traumatic Growth
Listen: “Elastic Heart” by Sia
I am a bit of a sci-fi fan whether I’m reading a good novel by Ray Bradbury or Philip K. Dick or watching a movie like Blade Runner. In my journal I have frequently describe my life after my three-quarter life crises like “post-apocalyptic” living, feeling like I was emotionally hovering somewhere between Mad Max and The Book of Eli. It felt like a bomb went off and destroyed the foundations of my life built around faith, marriage, community, and career.
Extreme darkness, doubts, questions, and disbelief haunted my existence and the ghosts still linger with me today. Thankfully, I didn’t try to forge through the dystopia alone. My family and some long-time friends loved me through it. I found new support and friends through recovery groups, faith leaders, and therapy.
At some point in my ongoing recovery, I realized I was dealing with personal and religious trauma—some self-inflicted and some inflicted by others. A few years ago I came across some of the research around Post Traumatic Growth and found it helpful. (See “Growth after Trauma” by Lorna Collier, apa.org, November 2016, Vol 47.)
Some psychologists distinguish between resiliency and Post Traumatic Growth. Resiliency is a characteristic which helps us bounce back from adversity. Trauma, however, is not something people bounce back from quickly. Trauma wrecks havoc on our fundamental foundations and belief systems making it extremely difficult to bounce back.
Post Traumatic Growth does not deny deep pain; it processes deep pain in healing and generative ways. Through therapy, recovery groups, and deep friendships, Post Traumatic Growth can coexist and begin to emerge alongside PTSD. Some of the signs of Post Traumatic Growth are:
A deeper appreciation of life
Stronger relationships with loved ones and survivors
Recognition of new opportunities and possibilities
Inner strength as a survivor
Spirituality changes and evolves
This kind of growth does not happen quickly or easily. We have to do the work. There is a saying in the Twelve-step community: “It works if you work it.” Growth is not a solo process; it’s a community process. We need loving, safe people to connect with us at our deepest experiences of pain. Alcoholics connecting with alcoholics. Abuse survivors connecting with abuse survivors. We heal in safe spaces with safe people who have developed empathy and found hope.
I recently reread all of the resurrection appearances of Jesus reported in the four gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. After the crucifixion of Jesus, the disciples were doing some “post-apocalyptic” living. They had witnessed the brutal torture of their beloved leader. Their world was blown apart and they were filled with doubts, questions, and disbelief.
Peter had consistently pledged his loyalty to Jesus and was ready to fight and die for Jesus, but in the darkness of night when Jesus was arrested, fear overtook him and he denied ever knowing Jesus three times. His epic failure resulted in deep depression. There’s a scene in John’s gospel in which Jesus appears to Peter and recommissions him three times. At the place of deepest failure, Peter is loved, forgiven, affirmed, and recommissioned.
Richard Rohr says, “If we do not transform pain, we will most assuredly transmit it—usually to those closest to us: our family, our neighbors, our co-workers, and, invariably, the most vulnerable, our children” (Richard Rohr, “Transforming Pain,” cac.org).
Healing from trauma is a slow community process, but there is hope. People do heal—together!
Shalom
©realfredherron, 2023
