Childlike Humility
Listen: “Change” by Tracy Chapman
Humility is one of the most misunderstood virtues in the English language. In fact, the ancient Greeks considered it a negative attribute, on par with poverty or subservience. In America, we get it confused with a bunch of negative attitudes and emotions like shame, guilt, humiliation, and self-pity. Most people would understand that it is the opposite of arrogance, but that’s about it. How do we cultivate humility?
Humility is a cornerstone characteristic for recovery. Step Seven of the Twelve Steps of AA is “Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.” While humility is specifically named in Step Seven, it is vital to every step in the recovery program.
Humility is also foundational to the Judeo/Christian worldview. The prophet Micah summarizes beautifully what God required of Israel in three short statements: “to do justice, to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God” (Micah 6:8). Jesus talked about the importance of becoming more like a child, and the one quality he specifically mentions that we need to imitate is—humility (Matthew 18:4). The Apostle Peter famously admonished believers to “Humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you” (1 Peter 5:6).
In the Christian tradition, God in Christ is said to be humble. A humble God—imagine that. In a stunning scripture about Jesus Christ, the Apostle Paul writes that Jesus humbled himself by leaving heaven to become a human, a servant to humanity, and then was willing to die an obedient death on the cross (Philippians 2:5-8).
Buddhist practitioners believe that a humble mind can recognize the defilements of desire and greed, ignorance and illusion; only then can someone begin the journey to enlightenment.
In an effort to understand humility, let’s first describe what it is not. It is not shame. Shame is feeling never good enough, feeling self-hatred or self-criticism at a deep level. It is not guilt. Guilt is feeling like we did something wrong. It is not humiliation. Humiliation is a feeling of intense embarrassment over unjust treatment. It is not self-pity. Self-pity is an attitude of negative self-focus which employs unhealthy rationalizations and blame of others for our circumstances or behaviors.
So what is humility? How do we cultivate humility? Humility is the opposite of arrogance or selfishness. It can be cultivated in the following ways:
(1) Practice living a life with purpose greater than your own self-interests. Turn your life over to your “higher power” as you understand it. Life is about doing God’s will or serving a greater, altruistic purpose.
(2) Practice the attitude of life-long learning. A teachable, open mind is a beautiful thing. You are never to old to learn something new and this childlike approach to life is good for your brain.
(3) Practice admitting your faults to another human being. Call it confession or talking with your sponsor, but do a fearless moral inventory and share it with a trusted person. It’s good therapy. Take responsibility for your actions.
(4) Practice serving others. This is another activity that is good for your brain and physical health. Find some ways to give back to your community, your friends and family, and those who are under-resourced or going through difficulty.
(5) Practice gratitude. Make a list. Give thanks for the small things in life. Look around at the beauty of nature and life itself. Count your blessings.
For those of you who are unfamiliar with the Twelve Steps, allow me to introduce what’s called the Seventh Step prayer. “My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go out from here, to do your bidding. Amen” (Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 76).
Shalom
©realfredherron 2021
