Become More Like a Child

Listen: “We’re Going To Be Friends” by The White Stripes

I was telling my therapist a few weeks ago how my whole life feels awkward right now. Since my “mid-life crisis,” I have felt like I am starting over again in so many areas: vocation, relationships, faith, and community. I feel awkward like a teenager at times, and it is so uncomfortable—even scary. At the same time, this crisis in my life has sparked a new hunger for learning and growing. Maybe there’s an upside in the long run.

I have always enjoyed learning—life-long learning has always been a core value of mine. I have a natural curiosity about the world in which we live, and I have always valued both formal and informal education. On the formal side, I have either earned a degree or worked on a degree every decade of my life (BA, MDiv, DMin, PhD). On the informal side, I have been a voracious reader my entire life. My personal library has over 6,000 books not counting all my kindle editions. I also believe I can learn something from every person I meet by asking good questions and listening.

However, when it comes to learning, nothing works like the brain of a child. No computer on the planet can acquire and assimilate and adapt to information like the brain of a child. Children are naturally curious about their environment, and they learn at phenomenal rates. It turns out that neuroscience studies of the brain confirm this fact. It’s called neuroplasticity, and the human brain develops at phenomenal rates up through the mid-twenties. (Read Livewired: The Inside Story of the Ever-Changing Brain by David Eagleman.)

Even though young brains are incredibly malleable, studies show that adult brains still have an incredible capacity to learn and change in both healthy and unhealthy ways. Neuroscience of the brain is a fascinating field which is exploring issues like habits, addiction, feelings, memory, learning, meditation, sleep, focus, and perception of time. It’s an exciting field of study with many practical applications.

One of my favorite demonstrations of neuroplasticity is a video called “SmarterEveryDay: The Backwards Brain Bicycle” by Destin. In the video, a bike is engineered so that it steers opposite. When you turn right, the bike turns left; when you turn left, the bike turns right. Destin’s young son learns to ride the backwards bike in a few days while Destin took eight months (working at it a few minutes a day). I showed this video in church one weekend and an engineer made a backwards bike for me to ride. Me and many of my cycling friends took turns trying to ride the bike and not one of us could conquer it in a day—we couldn’t even turn one full rotation of the peddles without falling. However, if we would have worked at it every day, we could have rewired the algorithms in our brain and conquered it. Adult brains are learning and rewiring all the time, just at different rates of speed than a young brains.

This brings me to my main point: as adults we need to become more like children. Not in the sense of childish behaviors like selfishness and temper tantrums, but in the most admirable qualities of children like wonder, curiosity, faith, vulnerability, humility, discovery, creativity, and adventures. J. M. Barrie, who created Peter Pan, said, “All the world is made of faith, and trust, and pixie dust….The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease forever to be able to do it.”

Jesus spoke of the importance of becoming more like a child. In one episode, parents were bringing their children to Jesus for a blessing, but the disciples were acting like bouncers. In essence, they were saying, “Don’t bother Jesus with unimportant children!” Jesus corrected the disciples and said, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them. For the Kingdom of God belongs to those who are like these children. I tell you the truth, anyone who doesn’t receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it” (Mark 10:13-16; NLT).

Steven Hawking said, “I am just a child who never grew up. I keep asking these ‘how’ and ‘why’ questions. Occasionally, I find an answer.” I was listening to a podcast in which Brene Brown was interviewing Dr. David Eagleman, a neuroscientist (“Unlocking Us with Brene Brown,” December 2, 2020). They were talking about memory, dementia, and how to keep the brain malleable. It turns out that forcing yourself into uncomfortable situations in which you have to learn new skills is like exercise for the brain. Learning a new language, a new mind game (chess), a new sport (pickle ball), or a new social environment (a small group) is good for the brain. It helps you stay young even though you might feel awkward. At the end of the interview, Brene summed up the conversation and said, “Staying malleable is staying awkward, brave, and kind.” I’m game for that. Maybe awkward is not so bad.

While writing this blog, I remembered a song written by a friend of mine. Here are the lyrics:

Awaken my soul, come awake

   To hunger, to seek, to thirst

Awaken first love, come awake

   And do as you did, at first

Spirit of the living God

Come fall afresh on me

Come wake me from my sleep

Blow through the caverns of my soul

   Pour in me to overflow

To overflow, overflow, overflow

            (written by Jeremy Riddle)

I first heard this song recorded by another acquaintance of mine, Samuel Lane. It moves me every time I listen. May we return to childlike wonder.

Shalom

©realfredherron 2020