Are You Having Fun Yet?
Listen: “All I Wanna Do” by Sheryl Crow
“Kimberly, you brought a monkey to church!” I was starting a new church in the 90’s in Kansas City, and we were meeting at Lakeview Middle School. We were a non-traditional, rock-and-roll church, and we were reaching irreligious and nominally religious people who didn’t attend church. One Sunday morning I heard some commotion in the foyer where we greeted people who arrived to attend a church service. I heard the sounds of children screaming with glee and excitement coming from the foyer, which was not a normal occurrence, so I went to check it out. When I walked into the foyer, I saw a bunch of children standing around a woman who was holding a baby monkey. The monkey was wearing diapers. I knew the woman, and I knew she struggled with some emotional health issues, but very stable most of the time.
My first thoughts were: “OMG! How did she get a monkey? Has the monkey had its shots? What the heaven do I do in this situation?” Seminary didn’t prepare me for this scenario. When I approached her I simply said, “Kimberly, you brought a monkey to church.” She says, “Yeah, isn’t it cute?” The children are still screaming with the joy, and the parents have shocked looks on their faces. I said, “It’s very cute, Kimberly, but we can’t have monkeys in church. (Even though it would be much more fun!) You are going to have to take the monkey home.” Well, she was disappointed, but she cooperated and took the monkey somewhere off the premises.
I never did figure out how she got the monkey. I learned that she had tried to check the monkey into the nursery. After all, it had diapers. We protected her vulnerability, and she continued to come to church. One of these days I may compile a bunch of crazy church stories and publish them. I’ll call it “As the Church Turns.” Blue Collar Church Comedy Tour here we come!
Quite frankly, I love telling crazy church stories because I’m proud of the fact that we had built a grace-based church where anybody felt welcome. I often said, “I don’t care where you’ve been or what you’ve done, you are welcome here. Everybody is welcome!” People started believing it because we loved on them and accepted them. It was one of the things I cherished most about our church. People from every conceivable lifestyle started showing up. They invited their friends. Church was never boring. It was full of drama, and we had moments of great fun. After all, monkeys never showed up at the church in which I grew up!
Grace-based communities are full of laughter and fun. Life is too short not to have fun, even when you are dealing with very serious issues. I have been working in the recovery community in Kansas City for the last couple of years. People land in the recovery community when they are at rock bottom. Many times it’s the last stop before jail, prison, or death. Many times people have lost everything except their life. They come into a recovery group, and they aren’t laughing. They aren’t having fun. They are miserable. (I was miserable when I started attending.)
Yet, the groups are not devoid of laughter. People are welcoming. They are friendly. They love telling funny stories. They never laugh at the new person who is at rock bottom, but the halls are full of laugher and friendship. In the midst of tragic stories, you find love and joy. The Big Book talks about this important characteristic. “But we aren’t a glum lot. If newcomers could see no joy or fun in our existence, they wouldn’t want it. We absolutely insist on enjoying life….We are sure God wants us to be happy, joyous, and free” (Alcoholics Anonymous, 132-133).
It turns out that humor and laughter are important components of successful executive level leadership. In his groundbreaking book, Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman explains how EI (emotional intelligence) is more important in determining one’s success in life than IQ. Goleman lays out the emotional intelligence domains that a leader needs to master: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relational management. In his follow up book, Primal Leadership, Goleman states: “The most effective leaders, then, use humor more freely, even when things are tense, sending positive messages that shift the underlying emotional tone of the interaction” (p. 35).
Ancient wisdom confirms the healing power of laughter and joy. “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength” (Proverbs 17:22). I second that! One of the great books on leadership in the Hebrew Bible is Nehemiah. Nehemiah was leading Israel in a temple building campaign in extraordinarily difficult circumstances. Yet Nehemiah understood the importance of celebrating and laughter. His famous words, “The joy of the Lord is your strength,” have been echoed down through history.
So belly up to the bar of joy and laughter. Some of the best humor emerges from the deepest places of pain. Our deepest pains and sorrows won’t last forever (thank God!), and joy comes in the morning. Are you having fun yet?
Shalom
©realfredherron, 2021
